Having a random hookup so left but love u
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
