She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
