elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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