oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
