Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
