I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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