"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
