i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
