He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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