sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
