This is not my ceiling
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
