Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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