Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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