I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't you send me to vm
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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