a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
