hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
