I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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