Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Randomize
