Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
...so i touched it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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