I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
