It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
