then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
