I cannot find my penis.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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