And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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