woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
