I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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