I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
