just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
