She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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