haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
