Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
