I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
