she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
should my penis look like a turkey
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
