How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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