I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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