I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
