Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
