Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
