everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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