I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
