Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
