so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
