If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
