I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
