So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
