So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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