how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
