So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
