in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
