Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
